Yet Another Failed Experiment
by Rogue8
Summary: pointless story about the x-men and sinster


I Don'

Yet Another Failed Experiment  
  
Disclaimer: I own disembodied voice #2 and the kid. Disembodied voice #1 lives in my head. Everybody else is Marvel's.  
  
Author's note: YOU try to come up with a title at 1am.   
  
_Thought  
_  
The Blackbird lands, the x-men all get out, Scott strikes a leader-like but dorky pose.   
Sinister walks up and glares at him, then walks back to where he was standing before. Ah, x-men. You are here just in time for me to unveil my greatest achievement to date!  
What evil plot have you now, Sinister?  
Oh, nothing special, just, y'know, the perfect mutant. *yawn* Again. Sinister says while filing his nails.  
Why don't you just give up? You know these experiments never work.  
Really, Scott, is that stick stuck so far up your but it's disrupting your hearing? I just told you that I'm about to reveal it. Now wouldn't that mean it's done?  
I...uh...well... hey! I do NOT have a stick up my but!   
Everyone looks at each other. Uh, yeah, you kind of do.  
Sinister waves his hand, Uh, excuse me? Bad guy about to reveal new dastardly plot over here.  
Everyone turns back to face Sinister, including Scott, who's mumbling, I don't have a stick up my but. Do I?  
Jean roles her eyes and takes a step forward. hehe, I guess it's like, my turn to be leader now, like, right?  
Yes, Jean. Even you're meager intelligence is more than Scott's. said a strange disembodied voice.  
Like, who was that? The voice is like, totally disembodied and all.  
Hey, I just said that! came another disembodied voice.  
Rogue sits down and starts to cry.   
What's wrong, Rogue? asked Storm.  
*sniff* Remy pulled my hair! *sniff* WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
Remy Etti- er, Ettu- REMY LEBEAU! Why did you pull poor Rogue's hair?! Storm asked him.  
'Cause Remy like chere.  
She sighed and rolled her eyes. Your feelings about half of a sixties singing duo have nothing to do with this.  
Not Cher. Chere. it's like girl. disembodied voice #2 said.  
No no no, said disembodied voice #1, It's like woman, not girl.  
Disembodied voice #2 pulls out an English/French dictionary. It's girl.  
Wait a minute, Storm said, how exactly does a disembodied voice pick something up?  
Oh, we're not disembodied, really. We're over here. Storm looks over and sees two people standing off to the right holding microphones.  
Oh, all right then. lalalalalalala. Why were we here again?  
Sinister waves both his arms in the air and jumps up and down yelling, HEY! OVER HERE! BAD GUY ABOUT TO UNVEIL EVIL PLOT! ARE YOU GOING TO LISTEN OR AM I GOING TO RAMBLE TO MYSELF?  
Everyone turns around again. Ooh, shiny.  
Hmm? Oh, yes, my lab's exterior is rather shiny, isn't it? I have Toad spit shine it for me everyday.  
Lab? I didn't know you had a dog. It's mean to have Toad spit on it.  
Jean, just shut up while you're ahead. Disembodied voice #2 said.  
She said and started to run around in a circle.  
Ororo stands in front of sinister. I'll listen.  
Sinister blinks, then looks behind Ororo at Storm, then he looks back at Ororo. You... but... you're... there... and... here...  
She shrugs. I'm Ororo. She's Storm.  
Then... you aren't the same person? he asked, confused.  
No. Why would you think that?  
Well... you look the same... and the accents...  
Oh, that's easy to explain. There are twenty of each of us. That way, when somebody like Scott or Jean dies, we just get another one. she explained, Of course there're only about three of them left.  
Sinister looks confused. So... Am I after Scott... or Cyclops?   
Quite frankly, I don't think you should go after either.  
Eh, you're right, he starts to go back inside, then turns around and walks back out. Oh, my evil plan. Almost forgot.  
Everyone turns around again, then, just to be cruel, I put on that song, you know, it's on the ad for that songs of the sixties CD? To everything, turn, turn, turn...  
All the x-men spin in circles.  
Sinister shakes his head in frustration. Did you all forget to take your Ritalin today?  
Ororo smacks herself on the forehead. I DID forget to give them their Ritalin! Oops.  
Well could you get on with it so I can reveal my plan and you can thwart it?  
teehe. Like, what does thwart mean? That's like a totally hard word.  
Jean, I told you to SHUT UP! disembodied voice #2 yelled.  
Oh, fine, just yell at me why don't you?  
_I just did._  
AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! THERE ARE VOICES IN MY HEAD!!!!!!! Jean screamed before running off into the woods.  
_Well, that takes care of one of them_ thought disembodied voice #2.  
_You know that wasn't nice_, disembodied voice #1 thought, _I was still messing with her._  
Sinister clears his throat. I AM GOING TO REVEAL MY PLAN NOW, AND ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO LISTEN OR THERE WILL BE NO SUGAR BOMBS FOR ANY OF YOU!  
Everyone sits down at his feet. from out of nowhere popcorn appears and Gambit and Rogue start to munch on it.   
Scott is still asking everyone over and over, Do I have a stick up my but?  
Sinister pulls a suitcase out of his costume and sets it on the ground for later. Scott claps, Cool trick! Can you do any others?  
Sinister obliges by pulling a coin from behind his ear, pulling doves from Gambit's nose, and sitting through an entire episode of VH1 behind the music for New Kids On the Block. Everyone claps.  
Now, can I reveal my evil plot?  
Rainbows are pretty.  
I'll take that as a yes. he said, Now, as I said before, I have created the perfect mutant. He contains DNA from Gambit, Rogue, Nightcrawler, Cyclops-  
I thought you said   
  
Everyone is entitled to a few mistakes. Where was I? Ah, yes. and Ororo. Would you all like to meet him before I reveal the rest of my plot?  
They all nod excitedly.  
Very well. Rerokuscor, would you please come out here?  
His suitcase pops open and a ten-year-old jumps out. Hi, y'all. Rerokuscor, be happy t' meet you, though it be not de best circumstances, non? Mien Got! I must be going! Goddess, help your child! he said quickly, then took to the air.  
Sinister watched him go with a tear in his eye. They grow up so fast. Why, it seems like only an hour ago I was still mixing DNA in- Why, it was only an hour ago.  
Cable time-travels in and hugs Sinister.   
Isn't that sweet? Hey, wait a minute he's not you're grandpa! Scott said.  
Yes he is.  
No he isn't.  
Yes he is!  
No he isn't!  
YES HE IS!  
NO HE IS NOT!  
IS TOO!  
HE IS NOT YOU'RE GRANDPA!  
Is too!   
Is not!   
  
  
  
  
  
  
See, I told you he was.  
Wait, Cable, how is he your grandpa?  
Cable pulls out a pipe, smoking jacket, and one of those eye things, puts them on, and looks very dignified. Well, you see, since he did create my mother, by all logical standards he should be considered my grandfather.  
Scott's head explodes, but luckily nothing important was up there, anyway. A second later Scott's head re-appears, since I need him in this story, and he says, Wait a minute, that would mean that Sinister was my father-in-law.  
Sinister cringes and back away. EEEWWWWWWWW!!! Yukky. That's it. I'm leaving. All of you are too stupid, I need better examples of mutants to experiment on. he thinks a second. Ororo, would you mind coming with me? You seem to be the most intelligent of the bunch.  
She thinks a second. I'll never see any of them again?  
Never. I promise.  
  
Sinister and Ororo disappear and the music from Bambi begins to play. Sinister's lab disappears and they're suddenly transported to a flowery meadow.   
Jean appears next to Scott.  
Hm, I think I saw this in a movie once...  
Naw, that can't be it, maybe it was a T.V. show?  
No, I'm sure it was a movie.  
Whatever you say, but ah think it was a video game.  
No, it was most definitely a mov-  
*splat*


End file.
